This blog is good because it allows me to look back at how I felt.
To look back and remind myself how difficult it was for me.
To remind me to be harder, more resilient.
These are the things I don’t text them. Things I tell them. Things I don’t Snapchat them.
The things I don’t omit.
I’m not sure how much it works but it helps.
Yesterday D replied to my selfie saying ‘I recognise that lip bite’.
I replied with ‘Could be possible’.
D wants to have me in my bed again.
M messaged me today asking to go for that long awaited coffee.
The conversation ended when I pretended I didn’t have his number saved.
I have no interest in either of them but I don’t want to say.
Trying to be nice and not hurt people becomes a Catch 22. You can hurt them more if you don’t let them know.
That being said, it’s just social media.
I can’t accept responsibility for my binary codes and the allure of my profiles.
He has a lot going on over the next few days.
I’m less worried about having little attention than I am about losing our 28 snapchat streak.
Today I posted a love letter.
I did it to be romantic.
It’s hard to be romantic when they Snapchat you ten minutes later.
Romance is dead.
I post a Snapchat purely for the pleasure of seeing if he’s seen it.
They included that feature for a reason.
Did the makers of Snapchat want us to be sociopaths?
It’s only when I’m the one who doesn’t get a responding snap, that I feel the power leaving me.
I play power games with Snapchat and my lover.
I’ll get revenge by ignoring his response.
K is from my past.
I had almost three years with K.
When I spoke to him yesterday through Snapchat, I worried that K was still interested in me.
I would never go back to K.