This blog is good because it allows me to look back at how I felt.
To look back and remind myself how difficult it was for me.
To remind me to be harder, more resilient.
These are the things I don’t text them. Things I tell them. Things I don’t Snapchat them.
The things I don’t omit.
I’m not sure how much it works but it helps.
S said he was scared of commitment.
When I was with him I sat in front of a mac and it told me my fortune was happy love that’s just around the corner.
S looked scared of the word.
I’m trying to play it cool with S.
I don’t know how long it will last.
I’ve seen S for three days in a row now.
Still scared of any labels.
When he was on his message feed I saw a conversation with a man named ‘Jordan’.
There was a menacing ‘🍆’ emoji next to the contacts name.
I’ve come to the Carribean sea and I’m finding it difficult.
I needed this break from dating, but I also miss dating.
It’s harder to recover from the first one than I thought it would be.
It’s only with the next one I realise this.
When you’re dating always remember Simon and Garfunkel.
Recite the lyrics to yourself.
I’d rather be a sparrow than a snail.
Being the sparrow will always be easier.
You push into each other.
Spend days, weeks in their bed.
Yet you don’t delete the apps.
You don’t go on the apps, but they still remain.
You don’t delete the apps.