This blog is good because it allows me to look back at how I felt.
To look back and remind myself how difficult it was for me.
To remind me to be harder, more resilient.
These are the things I don’t text them. Things I tell them. Things I don’t Snapchat them.
The things I don’t omit.
I’m not sure how much it works but it helps.
S said he was scared of commitment.
When I was with him I sat in front of a mac and it told me my fortune was happy love that’s just around the corner.
S looked scared of the word.
I’m trying to play it cool with S.
I don’t know how long it will last.
When you’re dating always remember Simon and Garfunkel.
Recite the lyrics to yourself.
I’d rather be a sparrow than a snail.
Being the sparrow will always be easier.
It’s happening again, I can feel myself falling, the muscles in my shoulders feel tighter.
I’ll try to meditate to stop myself from messaging S.
I do not trust S, but S is so different from all of the other letters.
D sent me a snapchat today telling me he had an appointment at the sexual health clinic.
Good for him.
I feel like there was a hint or motive of some kind here but I don’t know what it is.
Tonight I go see some theatre.
Tonight I bump into a new man I have been talking to on Tinder.
I feel connected to something, and scared I can’t go somewhere without something knowing me.
I should have never read Jane Austen.
If they’re not Mr Darcy I kind of don’t want to know.